DEFINITION OF A FLIGHT ENGINEER

A flight engineer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn with prolific fortitude, infinite strings of incomprehensible formulas, calculate with micrometric precision, form vague assumptions which are based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive experiments carried out with instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of doubtful reliability and questionable mentality, for the avowed purpose of annoying and confusing a hopelessly chimerical group of fanatics referred to altogether too frequently as AIR CRAFT COMMANDERS.

To all you aircraft commanders:  I'm just the messenger...Wes